Posts

Thank you for the Memories
This will be my last post, at least for a while. ThingsMyDaughterTaughtMe is going on hiatus, but before I sign…

When We Worry about What Other People Think
Not long ago, we were sitting in a restaurant, Lisa, Gabriella, Alexander and me. It was a family-friendly place –…

And So This is Joy
Every so often I think, ‘And so this is joy’. Not just happiness, but flat-out euphoria. It happened this past…

Why Taking a Cruise was Challenging…but Worth It
Travel with Gabriella has always had its limitations, but we’ve gotten more adventurous over the past few years. Last week…

How the Story of Our Family Has Evolved
Because I spend my days now writing historical fiction, I tend to think in terms of genres. It occurs to…

Why her? The Question in the Shadows
Why her? That question bubbled up right from the day of her extraordinary birth. Why did this happen to our…

Why It’s All About Your Village
It’s now a cliché to say it takes a village to raise a child, but in no case is it…

Our 9/11 Story
All of us remember where we were on 9/11. Like all of our family’s stories these past 24 years, my…

When the G-Tube Became a Blessing
Conclusion of a four-part sequence (links to earlier parts below). The first time Gabriella’s doctor suggested inserting a G-tube, enabling…

When they Shattered our Daughter’s Kidney Stones (and our Nerves)
We were in the midst of the most frenetic year our family had experienced since Gabriella was three. This time…

When Respiratory Issues Sprouted Wings
All summer, Gabriella had been coughing. She was often congested. And her respiratory complications raised alarms about aspiration. It was…

When the Dread Returned
The feeling lurks within like a sleeping beast. It’s not so much a spike of fear as a lingering dread,…

Where I Found an Unexpected Nostalgia
Nostalgia is a funny thing. I’ve experienced it in memories of childhood, of our early marriage, of good friends, but…

Our Daughter is a Mermaid in the Pool
A week ago, we got Gabriella in the pool twice. This wasn’t always a big deal, but it is now….

How We Chose an Adapted Minivan and Opened New Horizons
After Gabriella got her Panda adapted stroller, getting around became more complicated. While the Panda divided into two pieces, both…

How Our Pilgrimage to Lourdes Almost Fell Short by 1,000 Steps, Part 2
When Lisa told me she wanted to take Gabriella on a pilgrimage to Lourdes, I was skeptical. All we had…

How Our Pilgrimage to Lourdes Almost Fell Short by 1,000 Steps
Soon after the final pathology report, Lisa suggested we take Gabriella to Lourdes. Our daughter was little more than a…

Four Things Our Dads Taught Us
Lisa and I were blessed with amazing dads. This Father’s Day, I’d like to share some things we learned from…

Where We Find Our Magic
Last Wednesday morning, just after we arrived at the Magic Kingdom, Gabriella and I waited on a short standby line…

What If?
What if? Isn’t that the question many of us ask throughout lives? What if I had gone the other way…

Our Daughter, the Princess
On the weekend of the royal wedding, Gabriella got to play the princess not once, but twice. Last week, her…

What a Difference a Mom Makes
Today is Mother’s Day, a time when people across America and around the world celebrate the incredible women who make…

When a Field Trip offers a Glimpse into the Future
Last week, Gabriella went on a field trip with her adult program. The group has ventured out before, going to…

A Letter to Future Special Education Teachers
Dear Future Special Education Teacher, First, I thank you for your courage in embarking on this journey. While special education…

Luck and Skill at the Basket Raffle
“Luck!” “Skill!” When we were kids, we used to bicker about the origins of a long swish on the basketball…

Four Ways Being a Special Needs Dad Makes Me a Better Writer
In a prior post, I offered five ways that caring for a special needs child made me a better leader…

What it’s Like to Be a Special Needs Brother
This week, I’m pleased to share a guest post by Gabriella’s brother Alexander. I think you’ll enjoy it. I’ve always…

When Scoliosis Surgery Took an Unexpected Turn
In 2005, Gabriella faced surgery again. We had prepared our daughter for operations before, but not for six years. Now…

How Scoliosis Tested Our Family Anew
Our daughter had always suffered from a curvature in her mid-back, but as she grew her scoliosis affected her whole…

The Magic of Equipment that Enriched our Daughter’s Life
Every day, we use equipment to care for and transport Gabriella. These range from medical implements to her wheelchair and…

When Things Go Beep in the Night
In twenty-three years, we have experienced moments of joy and of relief. Likewise, we’ve known the terror that accompanied the…

What a Power Outage Means to Us
On Friday we, like many households across the Northeast, lost power. As with each outage we’ve experienced in the past,…

Why I Love Saturday Mornings
Saturday mornings are special for me. Sometimes my alarm goes off first, sometimes I hear Gabriella’s plaintive urgings through the…

No Doesn’t Always Mean No, with Insurance Companies
Even at four, Gabriella hadn’t outgrown her baby carrier. She grew in sporadic bursts, but like most things, her weight…

How I Lost My Faith, and Found it Anew
As more of us do than would care to admit, I look to my faith in God more when my…

Winning in a Family like Ours
Today is Super Bowl Sunday, with a lot of focus on winning. We live in a culture that values winning,…

The Fairy Tale of a Genetic Diagnosis
At the beginning, we thought a genetic diagnosis would help us conquer the mystery and achieve our quest like the…

Snow on the Driveway…and the Unknown
Every snowfall, every sleet-storm, every freezing rain, our driveway is a journey into the unknown, just as our life has…

Four Ways We Make Time for One Another
Time. It’s our most precious resource. For everyone, finding time is challenging. There are untold classes and articles about how…

Why Seizures Filled Us With Dread
Some events from Gabriella’s early life are as clear in our minds as summer storms – diagnoses portentous as thunder,…

Four Holiday Lessons turned New Year’s Resolutions
We had a wonderful Christmas season this year; I hope you did, too. Like many, I confess that I overindulged,…

Our Twelve Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, my Peanut* gave to me A life lesson in dignity. * As I wrote…

How Sleep has Remained Elusive Through the Years
Gabriella was up early on Saturday morning. She announced herself with a soft moaning we call “creaking”, sounding in waves…

How Advocacy Helped Us Find a Preschool and a Home
From birth to three, Gabriella received services through the Early Intervention Program. As her third birthday approached, we looked for…

Happy Birthday, Peanutgirl!
This week is Gabriella’s birthday, and family came together to celebrate this past Saturday. As we do every year, we…

Why I’m Thankful this Year
I’m thankful this year because twenty-three years ago, we received a gift, a daughter who was nothing like what we…

The Blessings of Early Intervention
At the same time that medical emergencies and setbacks kept our family busy during Gabriella’s first years, we (and especially…

The Adventure of Travel with Gabriella
We’re a family that loves to travel, but we’ve found our options limited with a daughter in a wheelchair. Not…

The Never-Told Story of Gabriella’s Birth
To commemorate the six-month anniversary of our blog at Things My Daughter Taught Me, today I am sharing the story…

Who Knew? Our Daughter is an Animal-Lover
Gabriella has always enjoyed trips to the local aquarium or the Cape May Zoo. Her delight comes from the motion…

How to Approach Us to Ask about Gabriella
Approaching a special needs family, or approaching a person with disabilities directly, can often be awkward or intimidating. People have…

One Community that Brings a Special Joy
I’ve often said that most of the friends we’ve made and the good people we’ve met over the past 22…

Why I Don’t Believe in the Six Stages of Grief
I’m just going to put it out there. Living with a child with multiple disabilities, I don’t believe there’s a…

Five More Lessons about Leadership from Life with Gabriella
A couple months ago, I put forth five lessons about leadership and life that I’ve taken away from over two…

How We Coped with the Truly Frightening, part 3
Third of three parts With the tumor removed, Gabriella began the healing process. Lisa and I held a vigil at…

How We Coped with the Truly Frightening, Part 2
We sat in that small room, Lisa and me on chairs, the neurosurgeons and the plastic surgeon arranged on the…

When What We Need Most is Patience
I’ve posted a lot about the more traumatic hospital experiences of Gabriella’s first two years. But not every trip to…

How we Coped with the Truly Frightening
First of three parts. The neurosurgeon said it looked like nothing to worry about, but she suggested we keep an…

What Must it be Like to Be Gabriella?
I often wonder what it must be like to be you. What must it be like to be stared at…

Why the Boardwalk is a Special Place
This week we took Gabriella down the boardwalk again. Over the years, she’s gone from being pale-faced and intimidated by…

Why the Imperfect is the Most Perfect
Her feet were the first sign of trouble. Gabriella was our first, but even without Lisa’s medical knowledge I knew…

How Bedtime Stories, Prayers and Whistling are Love
Gabriella loves bedtime stories. From the time she could lie head-to-toe between my palm and the inside of my elbow,…

How It’s All About Being in Motion
Life’s about the journey, they say, not the destination. I’m not sure if that’s why, but Gabriella is often happiest…

When the Windows to the Soul get Fogged, Part 2
Time had fleeted since we discovered that Gabriella had contracted cataracts, as I described last week. The extraction surgeries went…

When the Windows to the Soul get Fogged
First of two parts. “She has cataracts.” Sitting in my cubicle, I heard Lisa’s staggered breath in the phone. This…

How a Sensory-Friendly Performance Brought a Special Joy
For a 21st century kid, Gabriella has limited forms of entertainment, with most requiring personal attention. We try to get…

Five Lessons About Leadership From Life with Gabriella
I had the fortune to serve as a senior leader for most of two decades at a great mission-based organization….

Why I Feel Special on Father’s Day
Today is Father’s Day. From that first June after Gabriella’s birth, it’s been a day I’ve cherished. In 1997, it…

How Weighing Her Saved Her Life, Part 2
Last week, I described taking Gabriella for her first visit to the geneticist’s office, only to discover that she was…

How Weighing Her Saved Her Life at Two Weeks Old
First of two parts. Looking back, so many of the big events in Gabriella’s infancy involved visits to the geneticist’s…

Why I Read As a Man Thinketh in the Emergency Room
While I normally post on Mondays, I will occasionally post a book review I find pertinent on Thursdays. This is…

Why a Click is Worth a Thousand Words
One of the scariest things about raising a kid like Gabriella is that she has a language all her own….

Why I Look Forward to Crying at the Prom
This weekend was the Lakeview prom. Gabriella spent eighteen happy years as a student at Lakeview School. Every morning, she…

How to Ease One Pain in the Hospital
From the beginning, one thing that surprised me was the paperwork. For an industry filled with so many intelligent people,…

Why This One Gets a Big Thumbs-Up
Right around Gabriella’s first birthday, Lisa got pregnant for the second time. We really wanted this, sure it would benefit…

How Optimism Helped me Say No to the Diagnosis
Each one of these kids is unique, and that can be the scariest thing of all. I had worked my…

I Never Again Expected to Love Communion Dresses
We live in a society that likes to know what to expect. The online world is full of spoilers, for…

Why Things My Daughter Taught Me?
I believe our world needs a sanctuary for parents and family members of people with disabilities, and for those who…